Hello! How goes it?
When I grow up, I’m gonna be the pursuit of happiness.
First Job Dre
Dre got a job. His first gig as a dishwasher. For the next couple of weeks, I gotta help him out, just to make sure it sticks. This is week two, I think, and waking him up is the hardest part cause he will sleep through anything.
When he was a teenager, his alarm would ring and ring. I remember that time his alarm went off for about 45 minutes, and the whole time I was just waiting to see how long it’d take for him to get up. I had to go turn it off.
The same thing happened recently. This time I could only wait 15 minutes. Good thing I’m here to make sure he wakes up. Once we’re over that hump, though, he’s doing well with getting ready.
He needs an alarm that will shake him awake. Or a waterboarding one. I’ll be sure to be at his bedside 5 minutes before it goes off to watch. Waking up to waterboarding.
When he was younger, it was worse. School mornings were frustrating and funny sometimes, too, because he’d mumble random shit, and I’d catch some parts. For example, I’m making these up:
“…elephant bouquet…driving.”
“…waiting for the bus.”
“Some… pick up the rabbit…”
lol. I’m proud of you, babe! Congratulations!
Soca Music Interlude
This is the last verse, but it’s my favourite:
…De outrageous say that he knew a tailor
Lord Nelson – King Liar
Comes to making suit, de man is a master
If you show him a man coming round a corner
He could make him a suit and don’t even measure
Ah talking bout suit sitting down correct
Expertly made and fitting perfect
He used to sew for Shakepeare, make suit for Hamlet
And up to this day he eh make a mistake yet
You know de crowd went wild, they couldn’t cool down
Ah say Liar de Lion losing he crown
De judges brought de crowd back to order
And ask de Lion to lie bout a tailor
He said my man is de best, Rolfy is his name
Cutting cloth, making suit is his game
Doh show him de man, my tailor is class
Just show him de corner whey de fella pass
And he go make a suit, dat is tailor…
I love that song. Rediscovered it recently. I wonder if I could win the world’s biggest liar competition. It would be cool to somehow combine telling lies with tag and chess boxing. I have to think that through.
If Slapple were a drink, would you buy it?
When you opened the bottle, you’d get pimp slapped, turned out and if you weren’t making money it would eventually drink you. If you weren’t drained already.
Artist Date and Book Making (not that kind)
Last Saturday, I went to MOCA for the Jeff Wall exhibit, and when I left, I realized it had been a while since I’d intentionally taken any street photos. Last summer, I had plans to go to different neighbourhoods, but it never happened. What happened instead? I can’t remember.
On my way home, I stopped to get sushi, and while I was waiting to pick up, I heard, “If you’re over 25, you’re past your prime.” Eventually, I looked over at the table, where three women were enjoying lunch. Two of them were definitely over 25.
I went over and offered to dispatch them, but no one wanted to go. I said, “I’ll beat you to death right here with this chair. It’s not a problem for me. Who wants to go first?”
But then my order was up.
I don’t know how much enjoyment there was after that, but they were still eating and chatting when I left, so I guess it ended well. Death at 25. I didn’t get that memo!
All silliness aside.
Yo! Creating a Kindle book is pure torture. WTF! I’m really happy I started with the paperback version. Right now, even I wouldn’t want to read my book. It looks like shit, I can’t even put images in cause I have no idea where they will end up with this fuckin’ freeflow/reflow text shit.
I’m considering putting all the images at the end, but it won’t even matter if you don’t have the colour version of the reader. Unless you’re reading in a browser?
Gladly, though, the paperback version is done, AI gave me my last two images, and I’m waiting for the proof. Once I’m happy with that, I’ll hit publish.
What did I learn? Book designing sucks ass!
Would I do it again? Yes! But I’d be more patient with myself.
Did I tell you I’ve been going through my content, mining for stuff I can expand on or turn into series stories, like my inventions, or name that tyrant or my closet skeleton removal service or the free trial trips to hell?
Oh, best news — I’m up to 2782 words on my novel. Slow and steady. 😍
I hope you’re having a grand week and shit’s going your way, and if it ain’t, you probably need some soca in your life.
Wine Yuh Waist
Tue Mar 24
Photo by Microsoft Copilot on Unsplash
© 2026 Ociola Samantha Williams. All Rights Reserved.
