Data Analysis at Work

You know how there are signs all over the place on the TTC to give up your seats, the blue ones at least, to the elderly, pregnant or people with disabilities? Those signs don't work. After completing a survey commissioned by the TTC, I have a proposal for the elderly because most others will ask... Continue Reading →

Nelson the Roach

Once upon a time, I knew a roach A travelling salesman, he'd always fly coach One day a crew member called him unclean That roach! He created a scene Now no one thinks he's yucky And with the lawsuit money he started a brooch business out in Fayette, Kentucky This was supposed to be my... Continue Reading →

Fishing With Phil

Phil and Iwent looking, we did.Expecting to findplenty of fish "Hey, Phil! I didn't know spiders eat fish!" "Of course we do. Since I first lived near water, it's my favourite dish." "Hmmm!" "Sam! Grab a spear or a fly! Fish! Get ready to die!" For hours we tried, rested and waited.Becoming overly intoxicated. Fishing... Continue Reading →

Alcazars On Alcatraz

Alpacas on Alcatraz in Alcazars made of glass play hide and seek with albatrosses in fast cars Every year, flora, fauna, and folk gather to watch the show from near and far But, at the end of the game they don't party in trees like dogs They go to bars Drink fancy cocktails and smoke... Continue Reading →


If you want to dance with me Let's meet at the jamboree But first, stop by for tea And while we’re enjoying a pint (of tea) I'll introduce you to my friend Phil A bold jumping spider with superior skill who decided to live with his girlfriend Jill on my sunny windowsill Although of the... Continue Reading →

Dancing Trees

Watching as the trees Undulate in the breeze What's that you're doing I say It was sweltering yesterday We're thankful for rain and belly dancing the heat away Do you mind if I join you in the dance? But … I'm only wearing underpants Come along with us Underpants aren't a must We'll introduce you... Continue Reading →

Duck, Duck, Goose

At first, I was the only one in the waiting room, then a lady came. Receptionist and she, that made three. You can't play Duck, Duck, Goose with three people!!! So I decided ... you know what, we are going to have to put patient care on hold for a moment. I got on the intercom, "Everyone.... Continue Reading →

Moon Pies

Got a text from an old friend letting me know he's on his way down from the moon ... I wasn't even done cleaning the kitchen when I heard a knock on the door. "Pies!" He shouts, pushing past me. "Hello to you too. They're on the table." Hating to watch him eat, I head... Continue Reading →

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