I yelled at my Indignation

She said, 
Talk to Torment.

Pain and ache, I prefer not to feel
So enmeshed, I prefer not to deal

I spoke to my Body 
Longing for the Snow White aesthetic

If you were several shades lighter.
My life would be brighter.
Surrounded by everything Whiter.

Black roots I watered down
Hope! For generations to come

Engineered to pass
To fit in. Belong at last 



I've lived long enough for life to reveal
The countless raw deals

The fields of landmines and shifting goalposts
Standing between Us and success

All the rules made with bias, I did not know
My complicity in perpetuating the status quo

Racism by design
Social architecture without me in mind

And with all that I've done
My Blackness watered down
The deck's still stacked against Us

Is it delusional to feel ...
At least my kin won't have to deal 
Without and within
The pain of my dark skin

This poem is inspired by:

1. A dark-skinned tour guide I met in Thailand – I don’t know how we got into such a deep conversation but we did. He told me dark-skinned men will seek out lighter-skinned women to marry. If you’re a dark-skinned woman, you’re screwed. That conversation stayed with me because before then, I thought the idea of wanting to shed and move up the shade hierarchy was only in Black communities. At that time, I don’t think I paid attention to shades in other communities.

2.That scene in Precious (2009), where she looked in the mirror and saw a blond-haired, blue-eyed young woman staring back.

Essentially, I am exploring the brutality of colorism, the false promise of whiteness, and the generational cost of self-erasure.

I’ve never wished to be white or lighter than I am, but I wonder if I was darker, would that still apply. I remember a man in my life, who couldn’t understand why I wasn’t attracted to him when he’s half-Black signaling that his light skin automatically made him more desirable (and that’s exactly why I didn’t date him, he has mirror work to do.)

FYI: Text added to the body for easy reading but I like the image font better.

© 2025 Samantha Williams. All Rights Reserved.